Friday, June 27, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Uhh, What the fuck?
So, I left the couch for a few days and I found this video on my computer. It looks like poderoso was having a bit of fun with iMovie. Yikes. He's such a weird dude. Anyway, last night he tried to convince me to appear in one of the "shiza videos" he's always taking about.
The Golden Bear isn't really down with pooping on anyone, or having anyone poop on him. In fact, the whole situation kind of grosses the Golden Bear out. Plus, the fucking 400 dollar couch is lumpy.
As many of you know, I have recently published a book. It is available for sale at http://www.jaguaruprisingpress.com. It has done well in the first few days. So well that I have made quite a lot of jack. I pocketed the money, said "fuck it", and blew the fuck out of Hollywood so fast it would make your head spin.
I have bought and airplane ticket to Beijing. I'm going to the olympics and I'm winning a gold medal. I'll see you motherfuckers later.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Shameless Self Promotion
Read my book here. Buy my book here.
I like parts of my book a lot. There are other parts that I don't like very much. So, if you are strapped for time, read the good parts. Maybe I will rank the parts I like best, in order, so if you are strapped for time or lazy or don't care, you can read the best parts and think that I am totally fucking amazing at writing.
1.) The Dogs Are in The Yard and The Garage Door is Open is maybe the best thing I have ever written, that's why it's the first chapter. Read that.
2.) The Showcase of the Immortals is bloated and over the top, but that's ok because it's about Wrestlemania and Wrestlemania is over the top. This might be the most fun chapter in the book. So if you are not in the mood to read about murders or suicide, maybe that's the chapter for you.
3.) The death scenes are very intense. I tried to write them matter of factly, but it is hard sometimes because I think I am a good person.
4.) If you start at chapter 6 and continue through chapter 20, you will probably learn a lot about Chris Benoit and why I thought he did what he did. I think he was tired and sore and he had a fucked up brain and it all got to be too much for him. I don't know though. You will also learn about other pro wrestling deaths, and they are sad as well.
5.) R.I.P. Owen.
So, there you have it. Like I said, I think there are good parts and bad parts. All in all, I tried pretty hard to do my best, and I don't know if I am finished or not. Now, all I want to do is write poetry about Walrus', toothpaste, and fruity pebbles.
If you read or buy my book you should email me at thegoldenbearsofficialemail.gmail.com and tell me what you think. Suggestions, comments, concerns, all of that.
Thank you, and now back to your regularly scheduled golden bearing.
I like parts of my book a lot. There are other parts that I don't like very much. So, if you are strapped for time, read the good parts. Maybe I will rank the parts I like best, in order, so if you are strapped for time or lazy or don't care, you can read the best parts and think that I am totally fucking amazing at writing.
1.) The Dogs Are in The Yard and The Garage Door is Open is maybe the best thing I have ever written, that's why it's the first chapter. Read that.
2.) The Showcase of the Immortals is bloated and over the top, but that's ok because it's about Wrestlemania and Wrestlemania is over the top. This might be the most fun chapter in the book. So if you are not in the mood to read about murders or suicide, maybe that's the chapter for you.
3.) The death scenes are very intense. I tried to write them matter of factly, but it is hard sometimes because I think I am a good person.
4.) If you start at chapter 6 and continue through chapter 20, you will probably learn a lot about Chris Benoit and why I thought he did what he did. I think he was tired and sore and he had a fucked up brain and it all got to be too much for him. I don't know though. You will also learn about other pro wrestling deaths, and they are sad as well.
5.) R.I.P. Owen.
So, there you have it. Like I said, I think there are good parts and bad parts. All in all, I tried pretty hard to do my best, and I don't know if I am finished or not. Now, all I want to do is write poetry about Walrus', toothpaste, and fruity pebbles.
If you read or buy my book you should email me at thegoldenbearsofficialemail.gmail.com and tell me what you think. Suggestions, comments, concerns, all of that.
Thank you, and now back to your regularly scheduled golden bearing.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The Time Has Come 6/11
Six Eleven. The Jaguars Have Done it. http://www.jaguaruprisingpress.com Get ready world, we're coming for the belts.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Important Non-Storyline Related Content
It's official. Noah Cicero has written a book and he wants to beat up my friend Daryl. Welcome, Noah, to the uprising.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
A Bit More Poderoso
La Arana Poderoso is six foot 8 inches tall. He is skinny. Very skinny. He wears a mask for legal reasons, it hides his true identity. A few years back La Arana Poderoso had an unfortunate encounter involving a a video camera and a 17 year old girl. Hounded by the police and the local PTA, he was forced to flee his home in Kansas City, Missourah for Hollywood.
La Arana Poderoso has got himself back on his feet for the most part, and he has grown used to the mask. It hides the scars he feels on his heart, hides the shame he has buried deep inside his heart.
La Arana Poderoso is sorry, so sorry.
La Arana Poderoso has got himself back on his feet for the most part, and he has grown used to the mask. It hides the scars he feels on his heart, hides the shame he has buried deep inside his heart.
La Arana Poderoso is sorry, so sorry.
Monday, June 2, 2008
The Golden Bear Is All Over the Fucking Internet
I was interviewed by a man named Mike who co-owns the blog The Farside, Sorry Gary. Some parts of this interview are funny. In other parts I make fun of Zachary German. On the whole, I am happy with it.
WAIT, THERE IS MORE:
The Industry, Mike Bushnell, has posted some promo's from the Vault. Take a look. My promo is last. I think all the promo's are very good. I miss the Industry and TTB. They are doing good work. The Jaguar Uprising press is coming. I am getting published. 6/11, 6/11, 6/11.
Hollywood is hard. I am working at a deli. I work all the time. I am working right now, but we have wireless internet access and my boss is taking a poop so I am updating my blog.
Video of La Arana Poderoso coming soon.
I love you all.
WAIT, THERE IS MORE:
The Industry, Mike Bushnell, has posted some promo's from the Vault. Take a look. My promo is last. I think all the promo's are very good. I miss the Industry and TTB. They are doing good work. The Jaguar Uprising press is coming. I am getting published. 6/11, 6/11, 6/11.
Hollywood is hard. I am working at a deli. I work all the time. I am working right now, but we have wireless internet access and my boss is taking a poop so I am updating my blog.
Video of La Arana Poderoso coming soon.
I love you all.
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