tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65319015467377252902024-03-20T03:11:55.396-07:00The Golden Bear's Official BlogRizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-1502256253318722022012-04-01T14:13:00.000-07:002012-04-01T14:13:06.157-07:00Golden Bear Live Blogs Wrestlemania<iframe src="http://www.coveritlive.com/index2.php/option=com_altcaster/task=viewaltcast/altcast_code=be48421ee7/height=550/width=470" scrolling="no" height="550px" width="470px" frameBorder ="0" allowTransparency="true" ><a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php/option=com_mobile/task=viewaltcast/altcast_code=be48421ee7" >Golden Bear Live Blogs Wrestlmania</a></iframe>Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-28676000700512879412009-03-09T19:49:00.000-07:002009-03-09T20:01:32.676-07:00Autograph Follow-upThanks for everyone who showed up to the autograph signing. It was really great to get a chance to meet all of you in person. Seriously guys, you are what makes this whole thing worthwhile. When I get sad and down, hearing from my golden fans lifts me right back up. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you.<br /><br />Also, a big thanks to Atkins Farms Country Market for hosting the signing. Just to let you all know, the deli specials this week are Glenrock Shankless Smoked Virginia Brand Ham, Kohler German Bologna, and the ever-popular Land O' Lakes White American Cheese. All these and friendly service for the low, low, price of 3.99/lb. <br /><br />Make sure to check 'em out! Take care Bear Brigade, until next time.<br /><img src="file:///Users/josephlindsay/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/moz-screenshot.jpg" alt="" /><img src="file:///Users/josephlindsay/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/moz-screenshot-1.jpg" alt="" />Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-12402068484818341432009-03-05T08:50:00.001-08:002009-03-05T08:53:17.413-08:00Autograph SigningThe Golden Bear will be signing autograph's from 2:00 - 7:00 this afternoon at <a href="http://www.atkinsfarms.com">Atkins Farms Country Market</a> in South Amherst. <br /><br />For a small fee, autographed sandwiches are also available.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-85962233453383231752009-02-25T09:56:00.000-08:002009-02-25T10:07:57.897-08:00The Golden Bear's Official Entrance in The Hampshire Coollege Beer Pong Tournament of Champions 2009<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwdOeerhMkJ8fooAccsNo8w7QQ_RohWfDl9gd_Xr6fSHna7N0tZr_UufLQiVjpCr8YzW4TQJGGwGn_z9PTeVQ' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />Deal with it.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-76676811037109849972008-09-24T22:23:00.000-07:002008-09-24T22:35:15.250-07:00This Was Most Untriumphant<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzBw4AVFaCX0VbfBOYgJib3sQuMYMnJmtZcQ-XYFXDt1M1caqaUVi79SwXHblRckiH8HhxCkQbNMSKDovl5UA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-35686729969050536332008-09-24T11:40:00.000-07:002008-09-24T11:47:08.760-07:00Transcript of Gmail chat with Ryan Manning<span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: the golden bear</span></span><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: hey man</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: how are you</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: i'm good, how are you?</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: i am fucked existentially</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: why's that?</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: i don't know</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"></span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: I'm sorry</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>ttb</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: no worries</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>what about him</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: he is going to kick my ass in our match</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>im scared</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>i am fucked existentially</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: when</span></span><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"></span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: we have a reading/wrestling match coming up</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: aren't professional wrestlers only supposed to fake wrestle</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: no</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>it's real</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>it's damn real</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: haha</span></span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>i don't know about that<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zrX9Ca7LSyQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zrX9Ca7LSyQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /></span></span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">ryan</span>: isn't that why it's called world wrestling entertainment</span></span><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>everyone knows the matches are rigged</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; text-indent: -1em;"><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>: did you watch that video?</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; float: left; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"></span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span>because I am existentially open-hand slapping you right now<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em; font-weight: bold;"><span>Ryan went on to say that he disliked the Jaguar Uprising, and the only way any of this will have any value is if it is turned into art. <br />Well guess what Ryan Manning. <br /><br />Wrestling is art. </span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span></span></span></div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span><br /><br /><br /></span></span></div><br /></div>Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-33588350696371273942008-09-05T09:26:00.000-07:002008-09-05T13:11:57.581-07:00Exclusive InterviewImportant-Ass News Interviewed His Mysticness. I interrupted.<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxE9ldgsYN4RpNPMu5AmrrC4tsEUglyynzTStpwk1T8_tYLAXn2ZAH5l7UTLOlqZqC1fHGXQBzX047Pzkvq5w' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-18607454893124715142008-09-02T07:52:00.000-07:002008-09-02T14:07:33.981-07:00BREAKING ANNOUNCEMENTThis Bear is back.<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dw93jJCN-wuTzTHsON0M35hKZtcAhy_tqlP9RaD40O7Ylrodsm2yBYgMk7YYc7ZpjVUORoofmpP6uyzFdCnow' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />See <a href="http://abigholeintheearth.blogspot.com/2008/08/blogging-about-bloggers-day-my-cloud.html">what started this ruckus in the first place</a>.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-18017390631667249042008-06-27T01:53:00.000-07:002008-06-27T01:54:17.152-07:00Dear TTB,Fuck You.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-38660037119944811172008-06-15T12:25:00.000-07:002008-06-15T12:32:19.645-07:00Uhh, What the fuck?<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyaY9ZlFUhI_aXpsVoJxZhPva78qE7ktFQXhePfZ75nBtetxZ65xed03ooDRNhUtbzvJII9l1Ht3hUiHOcIag' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br /><br />So, I left the couch for a few days and I found this video on my computer. It looks like poderoso was having a bit of fun with iMovie. Yikes. He's such a weird dude. Anyway, last night he tried to convince me to appear in one of the "shiza videos" he's always taking about. <br /><br />The Golden Bear isn't really down with pooping on anyone, or having anyone poop on him. In fact, the whole situation kind of grosses the Golden Bear out. Plus, the fucking 400 dollar couch is lumpy.<br /><br />As many of you know, I have recently published a book. It is available for sale at http://www.jaguaruprisingpress.com. It has done well in the first few days. So well that I have made quite a lot of jack. I pocketed the money, said "fuck it", and blew the fuck out of Hollywood so fast it would make your head spin.<br /><br />I have bought and airplane ticket to Beijing. I'm going to the olympics and I'm winning a gold medal. I'll see you motherfuckers later.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-81980988301912581932008-06-12T07:16:00.001-07:002008-06-12T07:32:42.962-07:00Shameless Self PromotionRead my book <a href="http://bore-parade.blogspot.com">here</a>. Buy my book <a href="http://www.jaguaruprisingpress.com">here</a>.<br /><br />I like parts of my book a lot. There are other parts that I don't like very much. So, if you are strapped for time, read the good parts. Maybe I will rank the parts I like best, in order, so if you are strapped for time or lazy or don't care, you can read the best parts and think that I am totally fucking amazing at writing.<br /><br />1.) <a href="http://death-of-the-crippler1.blogspot.com/2008/06/1.html">The Dogs Are in The Yard and The Garage Door is Open</a> is maybe the best thing I have ever written, that's why it's the first chapter. Read that. <br /><br />2.) <a href="http://death-of-the-crippler1.blogspot.com/2008/06/5.html">The Showcase of the Immortals</a> is bloated and over the top, but that's ok because it's about Wrestlemania and Wrestlemania is over the top. This might be the most fun chapter in the book. So if you are not in the mood to read about murders or suicide, maybe that's the chapter for you.<br /><br />3.) <a href="http://death-of-the-crippler1.blogspot.com/2008/06/he-put-250-pounds-of-weight-on-machine.html">The death scenes</a> are very intense. I tried to write them matter of factly, but it is hard sometimes because I think I am a good person.<br /><br />4.) If you start at chapter <a href="http://death-of-the-crippler1.blogspot.com/2008/06/6.html">6</a> and continue through chapter <a href="http://death-of-the-crippler1.blogspot.com/2008/06/20.html">20,</a> you will probably learn a lot about Chris Benoit and why I thought he did what he did. I think he was tired and sore and he had a fucked up brain and it all got to be too much for him. I don't know though. You will also learn about other pro wrestling deaths, and they are sad as well.<br /><br />5.) <a href="http://death-of-the-crippler1.blogspot.com/2008/06/21.html">R.I.P. Owen</a>.<br /><br /><br /><br />So, there you have it. Like I said, I think there are good parts and bad parts. All in all, I tried pretty hard to do my best, and I don't know if I am finished or not. Now, all I want to do is write poetry about Walrus', toothpaste, and fruity pebbles.<br /><br />If you read or buy my book you should email me at thegoldenbearsofficialemail.gmail.com and tell me what you think. Suggestions, comments, concerns, all of that. <br /><br />Thank you, and now back to your regularly scheduled golden bearing.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-42573770616982390012008-06-11T08:53:00.000-07:002008-06-11T08:55:05.908-07:00The Time Has Come 6/11Six Eleven. The Jaguars Have Done it. http://www.jaguaruprisingpress.com Get ready world, we're coming for the belts.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-12201235737538111652008-06-06T01:32:00.000-07:002008-06-06T01:38:34.183-07:00Important Non-Storyline Related ContentIt's official. <a href="http://noah-cicero.blogspot.com">Noah Cicero</a> has <a href="http://noah-cicero.blogspot.com/2008/06/book-release-party-for-treatise.html">written a book </a>and he wants to <a href="http://noah-cicero.blogspot.com/2008/06/to-jaguar-uprising.html">beat up</a> my friend <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/11905415447697614397">Daryl.</a> Welcome, Noah, to the <a href="http://www.google.com/products?q=6/11&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1">uprising.</a>Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-43397618644909360752008-06-04T16:03:00.000-07:002008-06-04T16:14:09.610-07:00A Bit More PoderosoLa Arana Poderoso is six foot 8 inches tall. He is skinny. Very skinny. He wears a mask for legal reasons, it hides his true identity. A few years back La Arana Poderoso had an unfortunate encounter involving a a video camera and a 17 year old girl. Hounded by the police and the local PTA, he was forced to flee his home in Kansas City, Missourah for Hollywood.<br /><br />La Arana Poderoso has got himself back on his feet for the most part, and he has grown used to the mask. It hides the scars he feels on his heart, hides the shame he has buried deep inside his heart.<br /><br />La Arana Poderoso is sorry, so sorry.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg84-zQoCTcStmn5hYS4Q2cBA48X5y_IMSOv_2-TR5pYcNvEQRiyV_TQHnbywljcKgzqPIgFf-S0z7hbtWmszXXEJW96cyPogvz3CIFSjbxqRidJo7lT7dGS_rttN46R-IbVgNYzxKZhtPy/s1600-h/Photo+57.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg84-zQoCTcStmn5hYS4Q2cBA48X5y_IMSOv_2-TR5pYcNvEQRiyV_TQHnbywljcKgzqPIgFf-S0z7hbtWmszXXEJW96cyPogvz3CIFSjbxqRidJo7lT7dGS_rttN46R-IbVgNYzxKZhtPy/s320/Photo+57.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5208168112242195890" border="0" /></a>Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-37994697317641614142008-06-02T14:19:00.001-07:002008-06-02T15:26:09.749-07:00The Golden Bear Is All Over the Fucking InternetI was <a href="http://thefarsidesorrygary.blogspot.com/2008/06/beholdthe-golden-bear.html">interviewed</a> by a man named Mike who co-owns the blog <a href="http://thefarsidesorrygary.blogspot.com/">The Farside, Sorry Gary</a>. Some parts of this interview are funny. In other parts I make fun of Zachary German. On the whole, I am happy with it.<br /><br />WAIT, THERE IS MORE:<br /><br />The Industry, <a href="http://small-animals-with-short-life-spans.blogspot.com/">Mike Bushnell</a>, has posted some <a href="http://small-animals-with-short-life-spans.blogspot.com/2008/06/promos-from-vault-these-happened-before.html">promo's</a> from the Vault. Take a look. My promo is last. I think all the promo's are very good. I miss the Industry and TTB. They are doing good work. The Jaguar Uprising press is coming. I am getting published. 6/11, 6/11, 6/11.<br /><br />Hollywood is hard. I am working at a deli. I work all the time. I am working right now, but we have wireless internet access and my boss is taking a poop so I am updating my blog.<br /><br />Video of La Arana Poderoso coming soon.<br /><br />I love you all.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-76532455932642292252008-05-28T17:53:00.000-07:002008-05-31T19:09:13.231-07:00How I Met La Arana Poderoso<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSDZsELa2Qbo9fqm8S8AWnPDEQ-wmkgv0y41gBIryxEYu0YMzk6pJsaPWctcbJUSIRMQ2FVqKJuocQJsVGKa__c6npWX8WaCZDiTUF7WIvMy5ClA73Jhr4XrXmIkxu2SebB_6Yz5AwD-zZ/s1600-h/MyPicture.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSDZsELa2Qbo9fqm8S8AWnPDEQ-wmkgv0y41gBIryxEYu0YMzk6pJsaPWctcbJUSIRMQ2FVqKJuocQJsVGKa__c6npWX8WaCZDiTUF7WIvMy5ClA73Jhr4XrXmIkxu2SebB_6Yz5AwD-zZ/s320/MyPicture.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5206729339316301058" border="0" /></a><br />I met La Arana Poderoso the other night.<br /><br />I was sitting on a stool in a bar, drinking a Bud Light. The counter of the bar was long, and I was at the far end, sitting as far away from everyone as possible. I was moping because I was the Golden Bear and I was in Hollywood, California. The Golden Bear had no friends, The Golden Bear had no job, and the Golden Bear had very few Golden dollars. I told the bartender my life's story. His name was Joe. He felt sorry for me and gave me a few beers for free. The beers made me feel worse about myself.<br /><br />As I sat there drinking beer and wallowing in my self-loathing, I watched the bar fill up. All sorts of people came in from the street. They'd get their drinks and smile and put a few dollars on the table for the bartender. I watched them all come in and I felt sad. I looked down into my Bud Light and stared at the bubbles.<br /><br />The bar filled up and started to get loud. The Lakers were playing the San Antonio Spurs and people were watching the game on a big-television mounted behind the bar. They were shouting and yelling for the Lakers to win. There was an energy. The noise and the excitement and the alcohol created an invisible, infectious fog; a sort of power that swept through the bar. As I sat there, staring into my beer, I felt something. Something I hadn't felt in so long. Something deep inside of my golden heart.<br /><br />It was a memory. A night in the past where the energy and the noise and excitement had belonged to me. A night where I had grabbed that energy by it's throat and wrestled it to the ground.<br /><br />A night when I was THE GOLDEN BEAR!<br /> (...thegoldenbear!)<br /><br />That night I stood on a table made of wood and I looked at T.T.B. There were red solo scattered at our feet. I looked at him, his blue eyes, his American flag bandana. There were people crowded into the small room and the were looking up at us. Some where afraid. Some were confused. Most were drunk.<br /><br />I had to do something.<br /><br />I put my size nine New Balance into T.T.B's mystic stomach. He doubled over in pain. I grabbed his mystic neck. I screamed "THE GOLDEN BEAR!" and I pulled down hard on his neck. Then I Stone-Cold Stunnered his mystic ass right through the fucking table and onto the black and white linoleum floor.<br /><br />I lay on my bed of wood, beer and red solo cups. I could hear the roar of the crowd. It was mine. Their energy belonged to me. I was the Golden Bear and I was conducting the symphony. I was Mr. Holland and this was my opus.<br /><br />I shook that golden memory from my golden head. I looked down at my beer. I looked up at the mirror behind the bar. I saw my face. I looked back down at my beer. I grabbed the beer and threw it as hard as I could at the mirror.<br /><br />I stood up stood up on the bar and I yelled my name.<br /><br />I said,<br /><br />"I am the Golden Bear and I am the most adorable wrestler in the world".<br /><br />I brushed off my shoulders and I raised my head to the heavens.<br /><br />On the other end of the bar, something stood up. It was tall and skinny. It had a red face and large white teeth. The Golden Bear didn't know what it was. But The Golden Bear knew enough to be afraid. Afraid but ready.<br /><br /><br /><br />The thing said,<br /><br />"I am La Arana Poderoso and I know who you are golden bear. I am the lord of the liars and I am the ugliest wrestler you've ever seen. I have come here tonight to destroy you, Golden Bear."<br /><br />It's voice was high and it hissed as it raised it's long bony finger, beckoning me closer.<br /><br />I knew what I had to do. I ran towards it, knocking over beer bottles and spilling mixed drinks under my feet. I ran until he was right in front of me. I leap into the air, wrapped my hands around his waist, and drove my shoulder into his stomach. I speared him off the end of the bar.<br /><br />It was quiet for a moment, as we hung suspended in the air. Then it was loud again as we crashed through a plate glass window and on to the hard concrete pavement. I was bleeding and he was bleeding and neither of us could move because there were shards of glass everywhere. Everyone in the bar was screaming. I was bleeding and I couldn't move and I thought I broke my hand but I didn't care because I was The Golden Bear and I had done it again.<br /><br />The Police came and took us both to jail.<br /><br />The Golden Bear and La Arana Poderosa spent the night in a cell for fighting, destruction of property and disorderly conduct. The next night, The Golden Bear was sleeping on La Arana Poderosa's couch.<br /><br />Senseless violence is weird but awesome way to make friends.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-52484304559122357392008-05-28T15:10:00.000-07:002008-05-28T17:52:23.445-07:00Back On My Two Golden Paws.The last drawing was me, The Golden Bear, being sad and homeless in the front seat of my 1995 Ford Escort Station wagon, curled up in my pretty pink sleeping bag crying myself to sleep.<br /><br />I am leaving all of that shit behind me. I have been sadder than Zachary German, I have been more depressed than Tao Lin. I almost changed my middle name to "bitch-ass"". I am not Zachary German, I am not Tao Lin, I am not The Golden "bitch-ass" Bear.<br /><br />I am the most adorable wrestler in the world, and I am back on my two paws. I am the greatest. I am the best. I am back.<br /><br />I am The Golden Bear and I am in Hollywood, California and last night I paid a man named "La Arana Poderosa" four hundred dollars to spend the summer sleeping on his couch.<br /><br />Get ready Bear Brigade. It's almost time to rumble.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-29006358018480026262008-05-28T01:20:00.001-07:002008-05-28T01:27:36.225-07:00Thats Enough Of That.<div style="text-align: center;">You will never again see The Golden Bear like this.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirIuY7pVrWvV_15-9wjkoK1owAbZCDdNOXzP0Yp_DK1Khiresl2-_RMxPbqMPv6QyhpQo4tIfIohyLt5jV0R2MMg20IUAMPytLCxdG9BHKkvFnhbNp5iROeO6CbcsAFwRgYNKShMOs206o/s1600-h/thatsenoughofthat.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirIuY7pVrWvV_15-9wjkoK1owAbZCDdNOXzP0Yp_DK1Khiresl2-_RMxPbqMPv6QyhpQo4tIfIohyLt5jV0R2MMg20IUAMPytLCxdG9BHKkvFnhbNp5iROeO6CbcsAFwRgYNKShMOs206o/s320/thatsenoughofthat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205340853698915554" border="0" /></a>I<br />am<br /> THE GOLDEN BEAR!<br /><br />and<br /><br />(...thegoldenbear!)<br />is<br />back.<br /></div>Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-6278706845267167922008-05-26T15:04:00.000-07:002008-05-26T15:44:45.644-07:00Shit.Hollywood is bigger and scarier than than The Golden Bear initially thought. Still no house. Still no job. At least the weather is nice. <br /><br />Today, The Golden Bear walked the Hollywood Walk of Fame because The Golden Bear had nothing better to do. I walked until I found Vince McMahon's star. I sat down next to it and hugged my legs to my body. I sat there staring at the star for like two hours. I thought about my life, and all the people I care about. Then I started to cry. There were lots of people passing me, and they gave me funny looks like I was crazy or something. I guess I sort of am.<span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><br />The Golden Bear is trying to stay positive about everything, but it has been really hard. The Golden Bear has never really been on his Golden own before, and The Golden Bear didn't realize how much he needs Golden emotional contact with people. I haven't said anything to anyone except, "can The Golden Bear have an application please" for about five days now.<br /><br />Last night I slept in my car. I got into my pink princess sleeping bag and I whispered, "(...thegoldenbear!)" over and over to myself until I fell asleep. Hearing the words out loud helped me remember that I am still alive. <br /><br />The Golden Bear's dreams were full of tall wrought-iron gates and the comedian Dave Chappelle.<br /><br />The Golden Bear woke up worried, afraid, and alone.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-44860396745224480062008-05-25T08:57:00.000-07:002008-05-25T09:06:22.393-07:00I am arrived.The Golden Bear is very, very tired. I have made it to Hollywood, California. I have not really slept for three days. The Golden Bear's diet has consisted of amphetamines, Taco Bell Cheesy Gordita Crunches and Coca-Cola. Woof. I think I remember reading somewhere that if you stay awake for more than 48 hours you are certifiably crazy. In the spirit of this I have a few things to say: <br /><br />Buddha Belly, Charge Card, Skyhook, Airplane, and Howard Stern's Penis. <br /><br />Thank you, that is enough craziness for now.<br /><br />The Golden Bear is now homeless, jobless, and totally alone. I am sitting in a Starbuck's using their free wireless internet. I need to sleep. I don't know where I am going to do this. Probably my car. I have my pink princess sleeping bag and a pillow, so I think I will be ok. I hope I don't get robbed or raped in my sleep. I am, after all, adorable.<br /><br />If you are reading this and you live in Hollywood, please get a hold of me. I might need a place to stay for a few days until I can find a place to rent. I don't have enough money to pay for a hotel. My phone number is (630) 989-1827.<br /><br />Thanks for reading, and pray for The Golden Bear.<br /> (...thegoldenbear!)Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-1502618876463944322008-05-24T08:03:00.000-07:002008-05-24T08:07:45.980-07:00BREAKING NEWS THE SECOND!!!!<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dx_uRzf68_2ti4QtmPH0-vyaRpiBwVdUwc4iJlX1frOC3GwTJnZRW67qTl07Vw2pXHkyPxLQAQBt-FDuvllGw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />The Golden Bear is still going to Hollywood. Welcome to day two.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-5177740583489916872008-05-23T08:43:00.000-07:002008-05-23T08:51:52.496-07:00BREAKING NEWS!!!!<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dy9oxdc_ZHqFHBydrly_EngfwD3wCXCnhVM8U5JUSt5jCHQpZoCJulHZwTetPMxpmqB4zUIcxSxBJoYoDIkrw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />The Golden Bear has gone to Hollywood. Stay tuned for updates.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-20645322778300305952008-05-21T09:27:00.000-07:002008-05-21T09:35:43.268-07:00Finally, The Golden Bear, has come back to New York City! Part Two!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifw89DVhAp5oM4wbE8X_7nFXBiW2969v4Bw7oUMxw2FeW1Ueg9HMvyGSluYZ2C5ZMRCcfVAr9eUnt-VVC11gh211UUM4Mbzz9rGo1map3NjvmpF3sPWpM5ghEX1Ft_pHhj0u8Wkt5oILfn/s1600-h/MyPicture.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifw89DVhAp5oM4wbE8X_7nFXBiW2969v4Bw7oUMxw2FeW1Ueg9HMvyGSluYZ2C5ZMRCcfVAr9eUnt-VVC11gh211UUM4Mbzz9rGo1map3NjvmpF3sPWpM5ghEX1Ft_pHhj0u8Wkt5oILfn/s320/MyPicture.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5202869317895853874" border="0" /></a>We also met <a href="http://kendralovely.blogspot.com">Kendra Grant Malone</a>. The Industry, also pictured, has somehow managed to obtain her private diaries. The Golden Bear has read a few entries, and let me tell you they are hott. Hott with two t's. They are coming on <a href="http://bore-parade.blogspot.com">Bore Parade.</a> Be excited.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-65795874491771874462008-05-20T09:04:00.000-07:002008-05-20T09:11:05.871-07:00Finally, The Golden Bear, has come back to New York City!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUoFIkYXoS2faeLSyrhhDXRqbWoWc5HX7YXM9PkdLB2XIVYEFiDUHZbCaAM2s-ylSRtpZshiQMe_rLgK_zvHqwt9vFBPQJf2yv7ER7qPUOMO3MriVoiQGFzvGkSENM7s4wQ7JbfWZPpT10/s1600-h/MyPicture.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUoFIkYXoS2faeLSyrhhDXRqbWoWc5HX7YXM9PkdLB2XIVYEFiDUHZbCaAM2s-ylSRtpZshiQMe_rLgK_zvHqwt9vFBPQJf2yv7ER7qPUOMO3MriVoiQGFzvGkSENM7s4wQ7JbfWZPpT10/s320/MyPicture.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5202492786702948130" border="0" /></a>We went to New York City. We met Tao Lin. Zachary German got drunk and told us he was gay. It was fun.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6531901546737725290.post-44149249249941982662008-05-18T13:17:00.000-07:002008-05-18T13:19:30.651-07:00Update.The Golden Bear is a proud bear.Rizzohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13582208142920751634noreply@blogger.com1