To all those who I love more than they can ever know,
It has come to this.
There is a time in every man’s life where he must discover what makes him. When he must journey into the center of himself to find out what makes him a man.
I stand on the edge of that journey. My feet scattering rocks over the edge, I look down into the dark depth of my own soul. I must walk that empty blackness, and from the pit of my own heart I must mine my great treasure. I must pull forth a stunning, epic, and shining piece of myself. A testament to all that I am, and all that I hope to someday be.
I will be traveling across land. Driving the endless highways that span this country, hoping that somewhere in this mess of malls and museums, of billboards and bandlands, of praries and parking lots, I may find myself.
It is a journey that I am scared to make. A journey that takes me so far from everything I know, from everything I hold dear. It is a journey west, chasing the sun into the ever-expanding heart of America.
It is a journey that will keep me from you.
I am Joseph Woodley Lindsay, and I am writing to announce my resignation, writing to announce my departure. I am leaving. I am turning my back on everything I know. I am betting the house on this one last great effort to make myself into the man that I know I can be.
It is a decision that was not easy to make. I cried in my bed last night. I haven’t cried since I was a senior in high school and my Dad came home from work and I was sitting on the front porch and he sat down next to me and put his hand on my back and I leaned over and let my guts flow out through my eyes.
I cried because I know that his is the right decision. This is the path that I have to take. I want you to know I love you. I will be with you. I am a part of everything that is you.
Listen closely to the wind, it holds my prayers and my encouragements, shouted southeastward some from some distant, lonesome, Nebraska plain.
Friends, Countrymen, I journey to find The Golden Bear.
With Love and Regret,
Joseph Woodley Lindsay
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3 comments:
NO THE GOLDEN BEAR NO
http://darylstrawberryat.blogspot.com
every damn day
Sounds like you are sad.
Sounds like you have some variation
of emotion underneath all that husky
golden fur of yours.
What are you so sad about?
Look at you.
TTB knows the land.
TTB knows the sadness.
TTB knows...
You are sitting there. Typing at the computer keys with your claws and it sickens me.
I don't own a computer.
I live in the middle of America
surrouned by trees
and grazing
antelope.
I am at the public library right now.
Crying for you.
Because you talk of going out
into the heart of the land
and finding the golden bear
well well well well
my friend
the golden bear cannot be found
not there.
not within the land.
I am the land.
And all you will find within me.
Is a trail of tears that you will never arise from.
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