Joseph Woodley Lindsay
"The Golden Bear"
Hometown:
Elmhurst, Illinois
Heritage:
English, Irish, African
Religion:
Catholic
Sex:
Yes, please.
Height:
5ft, 9 in
Weight:
175 lbs.
Finishing and Signature Manuevers:
The Hibernator (Modified Frog Splash)
Bear Brigade Blast (Springboard Cutter)
Notable Feuds:
The Industry
Two Tears Boye
Notable Friendships:
Joe "An Italian Postman Dressed Like Bill Cosby if Bill Cosby Wore a Large White Welding Mask. He Is Killing A Hamster in His Right Hand While He Swings a Hammer Around in His Left. He is Listening to Stevie Wonder" Tocci
Interesting Fact:
The Golden Bear is not just a highly decorated athelete. He is a highly decorated citizen as well. The Golden Bear currently holds three civillian titles. He is the Captain of Candor, the Sultan of Sincerity, and, the General of Genuiness.
Ladies:
Cellular Telephone: (630) 989-1827
Childhood Home Telephone: (630) 832-4614
Mailing Address:
P.O. Box 993
Hampshire College
Amherst, MA 01002
Official Blog:
1 comment:
Shhh....
SSShhhhhh....
I HAVE STARTED MY JOURNEY
MY QUEST FOR THE MAN THEY CALL
THE GOLDEN ONE!
I put my ear to the ground.
Mother Nature she shakes beneath me.
She can feel your Golden Ways
growing weaker as I beat the...
"Golden Bear!"
the
"Adorable One"
with a
Cloudclap of Thundering Tomahawk Slaps of Fury
TTB
will count
one, two, three
before I even shed one.
And then
And then!
Like a mystic spirit I will dance over your body.
And I will cry for you and your whole Golden Army.
Because they will have lost their hero.
They will have lost their spark.
And it will be THESE! THESE!
Crying eyes...
who wil help lead them
from the dark.
I cry for you GOLDEN ONE
and all who are surrounding.
Soon...
very...very soon.
It will be the sound of
"T.T.B"
....resounding.
T.
T.
B!
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