Dear TTB,

Fuck You.

The Jaguar Uprising.

We are coming for the belts.

Holy Fucking Shit.

Ladies, the Golden Bear is just trying his best. Gentlemen, go fuck yourselves.

I am a bear with golden ears and golden paws. I am a bear that is golden and friendly and polite around others. I am a bear who smiles and gives high fives. I am a bear who sometimes breaks tables.

The kids love a high-fiving table breaking bear. The watch me on their TV's and they see all my golden fur and they want to be me. Their mothers let them watch because I am an adorable bear that preaches about family values, honesty, and solving conflicts peacefully. I am a welcome change from the rest of the mystic world of simulated violence and money that lies at the heart of the wrestling industry.

And I am a way better role model than Darryl "I hit nine home runs today so I am going to snort nine lines off the bare asses of nine different prostitutes in celebration" Strawberry.

In conclusion. I believe that I deserve a title shot. I am going to get one. Even if that means chasing the Industry across this country, I am getting my title shot. I am winning my belt. It's gold and I am golden.

Adorably,
-Cpt. Candor
-Sul. Sincerity
-Gen. Genuineness

(...tHegolDenbEAr?)

Oh, yes.

First, there are some things about me that you must know:

My name is Joe Lindsay a.k.a The Golden Bear (...thegoldenbear!), and I am just trying my best.

There are also some things you must know about The Golden Bear:

The Golden Bear loooves to party.

The Golden Bear knows how to shake his groove thing.

The Golden Bear is not afraid of a guy who cries too much, or of a guy who snorts coke too much. The Golden Bear cries, but only when he means it. The Golden Bear likes coke, but he would rather drink it.

The Golden Bear is a little afraid of the Industry. The Golden Bear knows that the Industry has the power. Win or lose, he decides. The Golden Bear has seen the Industry break bodies, break souls. The Golden Bear is afraid because The Golden Bear loves himself. The Golden Bear does not want to become just another name on the overflowing list of names that the Industry has swallowed up and spit back out.

The Golden Bear is going to be ok. I am trying my best, remember? The Golden Bear is ok because The Golden Bear loves the industry. But the Golden Bear Loves his fans, his bear brigade, more. And The Golden Bear would never do anything to let all the little bears down. So The Golden Bear is going to take a deep breath, and the Golden Bear is going to be brave.

Brave.

Everything The Golden Bear has said is The Golden truth.

Captainofcandorsultanofsinceritygeneralofgenuiness,
THE GOLDEN BEAR,
(...thegoldenbear!)

P.S. Daaaaaarrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyylllllllllll!

Bear Beginings

When I was just a little cub, I used to watch WWF Superstars on television with my dad and my little brother on Sundays. My mom would go to church leaving the three of us free to crowd around our old mitsubishi telelvision and watch homilies as delivered by the one and only Hulk Hogan.

Let me tell you somethin' brother, there were few better than the Hulkster. I grew up tall, and I grew up straight. I ate wheaties. I said my prayers. I ate my vitamins. I loved my country. I stood up for what I believed in.

I grew up and became The Golden Bear. I grew up to be come the Captain of Candor, the Sultan of Sincerity, the General of Genuineness.

And when I step into that ring, the people can see the 20 years of wrestling education flowing from my body. They can sense, they can feel that I am one of them. That I, like the Hulkster before me , can be the vehicle, the vessle that will take this sport of sports to the next level.

Bear Brigade, we can do this. Together, as one entity, as one unstoppable force we can march to the gates of this Industry and reclaim it by force.

One after another, our opponents will fall until we, together, are standing in the center of the ring, our title, the world heavyweight title raised, above our heads. And we can yell, with one voice, "The Golden Bear!" and then we can whisper, with one voice, "...the golden bear!" And that whisper will echo through the annals of wrestling history for the rest of recorded time.

"..the golden bear! ...the golden bear! ...the golden bear!"

Welcome to The Official Golden Bear Blog!

Hello. Welcome to The Golden Bear's Official Blog. The Golden Bear is thankful for your support. The Golden Bear urges you to sign up for the Official Golden Bear Fan Club, the Bear Brigade.

All Bear Brigade Members recieive:

1. 8x10 glossy signed by The Golden Bear, himself.
2. Personalized e-mails from The Golden Bear, himself.
3. Special deals on tickets for events featuring The Golden Bear, himself.
4. One Official Bear Brigade Badge worn by The Golden Bear, himself.


All of this for the low low price of a 20 dollar, yearly membership. It is a once in a lifetime chance to connect with the man that lives behind the Golden Bear.

If you call now and enter the secret password I'll let you in for half price. This is an incredible deal, one you and your loved ones really can't afford to miss. You can order by phone at 413-559-2318,

-just tell 'em The Bear sent you!


-Me.
-The Bear.
-The Golden One.

P.S. Title shot?